What It’s Like Dating an Extrovert as an Introvert

We spend a lot of time thinking about how we fit with a potential partner or someone that we’re dating. We measure up our values, their appearance, their mannerisms, how many siblings they have, if they’re cat, dog, lizard-lovers, the list goes on and on. What we might forget to factor in though is how our personality types match up. There are fun sayings like, “Opposites attract” and that might give you the impression that meeting someone who can somehow “complete” you is the best way to find your literal other half.

Everyone falls into a particular personality type. Even if it isn’t consistent their entire lives or they don’t fit the description of being extroverted, introverted, or anywhere in between. In the end, we all make decisions based on who we are. The way a personality is defined depends on our behaviors, our individual cognition, emotional patterns, and more. There’s no way of putting someone in a category and expecting them to robotically act the way you anticipate they will. But, we can work with what people have said they see themselves as.

If you identify as an introvert and are considering dating or being with someone who sees themselves as more extroverted, then you can probably expect some differences between the two of you. And those differences depend on – yes – your personality type, along with the many distinctions that you possess as a unique individual. No one is exactly the same, so only you can truly realize what you want, need, and how you prefer and choose to live. Once you have that understanding, you can better match it to the person you want to be with.

Until then, here are some common things to expect or look out for when dating an extrovert.

You Learn To Match Energy

The base difference between what makes you an introvert or an extrovert is how you gain and expend energy. Introverts gain and maintain their energy levels when they properly balance alone time with being around others and active environments. Extroverts recharge by being around others and remaining stimulated socially, on the other hand, they lose energy when they’re left alone.

When you’re an introvert-extrovert couple, you naturally start to accommodate your energy levels and what you need to satisfy them. An extrovert could understand when an introverted partner is ready to head home for the night, even if they aren’t necessarily ready to.

Related: Do Introverts Ever Get Lonely Being Alone?

Introverts deplete their energy a lot faster than extroverts do in social situations, so there should be an arrangement in place, or the ability to communicate your needs when one partner is feeling like they’re at the end of their rope. Ideally, they talk way before anyone is at the end of anything of course.

You Try New Things Together

When you’re dating someone with different interests, you might find yourself sharing them before long and that’s not a coincidence. Introvert-extrovert couples influence each other, just like any other relationship does. You both might have specific pastimes, but before the relationship, you did them on your own or with your friend group.

When a partner comes into the picture, it’s natural for you to include one another, and before long find yourselves with a mix of hobbies motivated by your partner. It also may bring about a new way of seeing things. If you were completely against eating a certain type of food or trying a new activity but came to appreciate it, you might thank your introvert or extrovert partner for the discovery.

You Gain Courage to Change

The fact that you’re different means that you can help your partner change in ways they struggle to alone. Extroverts, for example, may find it difficult to simply go after what they want, rather than thinking of the expectations people have of them. They depend and cherish their time with others so much that it can be hard to imagine feeling capable without affirmation from someone they know and trust.

Introverts are accustomed to being alone and actually content with a small social circle. They get their affirmations by feeling like their achieving something meaningful in their life and/or doing the things they personally find satisfying, even if it’s a solo activity. They can help an extrovert do the same and feel assured through their own terms. Introverts can also learn to open up more and feel more confident outside their bubbles with their partner’s support.




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Antoinette Maven

"Antony" Maven is a contributing writer for SimpleHermit.com and identifies as an INFP. She loves to hike with her dog, write poetry, find hidden gems in her small town, and read her nights away.