What Introverts Dislike Most About Extroverts

When an introvert meets an extrovert, you naturally expect them to be the best of friends, right? Ehhh, probably not. And there’s an obvious reason why. They’re polar opposites. One is quiet, the other has a reputation for being otherwise. They have different likes, different hobbies, different ways of thinking – and that’s all fairly accurate. But, at the same time, you don’t necessarily dislike someone just because they aren’t exactly like you. It normally takes an action or experience to shift your opinion of something in a negative way.

Even then, it might not be honest to say you dislike the person or the thing. You could simply feel awkward or uncomfortable with whatever it is. Which is likely how introverts feel about any extroverts that have rubbed them the wrong way.

Introverts are introverted, so it’s no surprise that they might not agree with how an extrovert acts and feels. When put in a situation where they don’t feel at ease, introverts can associate it with being around and interacting with those more extroverted than they are. What might please and energize an extrovert is often very different from what gives introverts happiness. If you regularly disregard that and push them out of their comfort zone, it’s natural for an introvert to think twice before hanging out with an extrovert.

Introverts are different within their own personality type – some can be more talkative and outgoing than others, while some are more reserved and get stressed by even the smallest interactions. It’s when a more reserved introvert has negative connotations with extroverted behavior that they could start to dislike anyone exhibiting it.

Being Put On The Spot

Introverts much prefer to be hidden in a crowd rather than standing out any day of the week. They aren’t fond of being surprised or put on the spot, it’s actually a nightmare that many introverts probably share. Being called on or suddenly thrust under the spotlight and losing their voice and possibly their minds. It can cause a huge amount of stress for an introvert to be the center of attention, especially if it’s without much notice.

Introverts appreciate a routine and planning ahead for intimidating situations. The problem with extroverts is that they might not see those situations as a big deal. That’s why they might not think much of directing attention toward an introvert who wants nothing to do with it. When introverts feel like communicating or being social, they will likely make those decisions on their own. Having someone pressure them into it is not only unhelpful, but it’s also something they could resent them for.

Feeling Ridiculed

It’s never fun to feel like you don’t quite fit in because of who you are. Introverts don’t choose to be an introvert, they’re born with an affinity for introversion and the lifestyle that goes with it. Extroverts may think they’re helping by bringing up how quiet or shy an introvert may seem, but instead of helping, it may make the introvert feel self-conscious.

Related: INFJ: What Makes It The Rarest Personality Type?

Having their introverted behaviors called out might be taken as an insult or at the very least a subtle jab towards their character. It might make them think that they should change or that people are laughing behind their backs. Instead of commenting on certain behaviors, an extrovert can avoid alarming an introvert by addressing them more delicately. Be considerate and talk to the person directly rather than referring to them generally with other people around.

Be aware that it can trigger some introverts by even bringing up how they’re acting in a lighthearted way. For example, even saying something like, “why so quiet all the time?” or, “XXXX is the calm and quiet one in the office,” separates the person from the rest of the group and they could feel alienated or singled out when they’re just acting natural and being themselves.

Assuming They Need Help

Since introverts tend to keep to themselves and may appear lonely or excluded – well-meaning extroverts could assign themselves the duty of “saving” them or gifting them with the joy of inclusion and hopefully lifelong camaraderie. Which, they’re under the impression the introvert might be heartbreakingly longing for but without the confidence to express it or make any meaningful steps to achieve it.

In actuality, the introvert is probably on their own because they like it that way. They might need some encouragement here or there if they feel especially daunted by a loud or especially crowded environment, but they can get there on their own. Especially if they have people they trust around and they’ve had time to mentally prepare themselves for a highly-stimulating environment that could drain them a lot faster mentally.

What introverts dread is being treated like a damsel in distress. First of all, it’s calling attention to their particular character (which is also a pet peeve), and secondly, they end up feeling weak and possibly embarrassed by the offer or apparent intention for an extrovert to help them become more social or confident. Before deciding that an introvert is lonely and needs help or a similar concern – ask them directly and without anyone else present. They’ll probably just tell you if there’s anything to worry about and settle it right then and there.




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Antoinette Maven

"Antony" Maven is a contributing writer for SimpleHermit.com and identifies as an INFP. She loves to hike with her dog, write poetry, find hidden gems in her small town, and read her nights away.