How To Feel Okay Again After A Breakup (Introvert Version)

Breakups can be really tough and we’ve all probably experienced them at some point. It could be with a high school sweetheart or that one that lasted a month, or even a relationship lasting years. It can all suck a lot or much less depending on your personality type. Breakups don’t just include romantic relationships, but any that you find meaningful or feel invested in. For introverts, breakups can be especially complicated for a couple of reasons. The main ones have to do with how sensitive they can be and the fact that they tend to have fewer relationships with crazy strong bonds that would very easily be missed if they suddenly went away.

When an introvert accepts someone into their fold, they are allowing themselves to be vulnerable with them. It may take time, but the fact that you call an introvert a friend means that they can be at ease with you and that’s quite the compliment coming from them. Introverts don’t just give up their alone time for just anyone, for one thing. They also put 110% of themselves into being the best partner, family member, or friend they can be. If you’re close with an introvert, you can bet it will be an enduring bond.

Because of how much energy introverts put into their relationships, they feel a heavy loss when it ends and can become depressed, self-doubting, and possibly scarred from the pain and regret they experience from the separation. That’s why it’s important to learn how to let go in a healthy way if necessary and address their feelings in a healthy manner to avoid lasting issues or even trauma associated with the event.

Don’t Avoid or Bury Feelings

When you feel especially hurt and don’t address it, those feelings aren’t resolved. If it involves someone else and you can’t resolve it with them, you still have the ability to make peace with feeling hurt and moving beyond it. When you’ve broken up with someone, there should be a good reason behind it. Both parties should also come to an understanding and still, if possible, part ways amicably.

If something seems unsettled or you’re left feeling troubled about a relationship that’s ended, try talking about it with the person concerned. Explain how it’s making you feel and why you can’t let things go. Sometimes relationships need to be put on pause, sometimes they go on when they aren’t sustainable or good for either person’s wellbeing.

It’s alright to let go and though it might feel like you were at fault or maybe you feel wronged in some way – what’s important to know and move forward with is the understanding that you deserve to be happy and so does anyone you’re with. If you’re able to work things out, you will, if it’s best to just be friends or go separate ways, that’s also a positive outcome.

Do Things That Heal You

After a breakup, it’s easy to fall into the tendency to think about what happened and it can cause you to relive any painful or sad memories. No matter what happened to cause the breakup, you don’t need to brood over it. It’s okay to do things that you used to enjoy and do before the relationship, in fact, you should try to maintain your normal routine if possible. Take a shopping trip or finally read a book you’ve been meaning to. Just do what you know will make you happy. By doing so, you’re letting time pass naturally and encouraging yourself to heal with positive and gratifying actions.

When you keep thinking about the breakup you’ll continue to feel the way you felt when it occurred. That won’t help with you moving forward and you’re not doing yourself any favors. Of course, anyone going through a breakup can have trouble going back into a single lifestyle, but for introverts, it’s a bit different because they really value and benefit from the deep bonds they’ve established. They have the desire and need to connect, just like anyone else, but how much they get out of a relationship depends on how comfortable they are with that person.

Learn From Your Time Together

When you think back to your past relationship, don’t necessarily only think of anything negative associated with it. Try to allow a decent amount of time to pass first – then remember what you learned about yourself from the experience. When you think of your partner, change your perspective and imagine what they gained out of being with you.

In any good relationship, there’s love and respect and that’s definitely something worth reflecting back on and remembering fondly. You might even see yourself still being friends with your ex in the future and that’s because they’re worth your friendship because of who they are. Even if you don’t match romantically, they could still be a valuable bond that should be maintained.

Partners go through things together and often grow together. In fact, if couples aren’t willing to adapt or work together it’s difficult to keep the relationship going. Everyone changes over time and you should support each other through those changes and navigate them as a team.




Subscribe to our newsletter for weekly updates on the latest content for introverts.




The following two tabs change content below.

Antoinette Maven

"Antony" Maven is a contributing writer for SimpleHermit.com and identifies as an INFP. She loves to hike with her dog, write poetry, find hidden gems in her small town, and read her nights away.