What to Do When You Feel Like The Odd One Out At Work

Fitting in anywhere new can be tough. We likely face it as a child and might have reservations due to our childhood experiences and whether they were positive or not. With an estimated fifteen million or 7% of adult Americans experiencing social anxiety, it’s not a new problem and won’t go away anytime soon.

When we get older, we have to face sort of a replacement-environment for school. Three guesses what it is…. yes, work! It’s a huge deal to enter the workforce since it’s a bit like sleeping. You spend a lot of time at work (around one-third of our lives) and you build relationships through work, whether you retain them or not those connections can lead to more opportunities professionally or personally. So, it’s safe to say that it’s only to your benefit to be able to establish strong connections with colleagues.

But, what do you do if you can’t seem to fit in at work? Whether it’s your opinion or something that has been openly recognized, it’s important to address your feelings sooner rather than later. Feeling stressed for prolonged periods can result in serious health issues down the road like heart and blood pressure trouble.

If you’re feeling like you don’t quite fit in or you’re the odd one out, take a look at the suggestions below for overcoming those thoughts and hopefully finding your place and a sense of belonging.

Find Out The Truth

When the thought first passes your mind that you are the odd one out, you can save yourself a lot of worry by not jumping to conclusions. First, ask yourself if the thought came from an actual event or action that transpired. Did someone say something? Did they physically do something or act in a way to exclude you? Think back to that important statistic: 70-93% of communication is nonverbal, so it’s easier to get the wrong idea from how people act than not.

That’s why you want to recognize what made you feel estranged. Could it be a common behavior or act? Do you feel like it should be addressed because of how it affected you? If you keep thinking back to it and feeling bothered, you should definitely consider starting a conversation with the person or those involved with the act.

That’s the best way to confirm whether or not you were mistreated. Oftentimes, you can overthink things or speak for people in your mind without even asking them. Reading minds is not a thing, sadly. So do what’s best and don’t get ahead of yourself by assuming what people think and why they acted a certain way. And if it’s wrongfully made you feel excluded, then you have a right to bring it up and resolve it amicably.

It’s Alright to Disagree

For the introverts out there, conflict is a terrifying prospect. You’d hope to avoid it no matter the costs and it’s understandable. There are two types of conflict though; unhealthy conflict and healthy conflict. When we shy away or completely avoid any type of conflict, that means it’s unhealthy.

When we deny addressing disagreements or a dispute it will likely just make you feel worse over time. You hold yourself back and it stunts you in ways you don’t realize. On the other hand, if you face conflicts, you’ll likely feel better about it and give yourself some deserved appreciation. You become stronger by facing your fears, believe it or not.

Find Common Ground

One of the best ways to feel like you belong is to find similar interests or some kind of commonality between you and your colleagues. Let’s say you and one other coworker were always the first ones to show up to meetings. Instead of sitting in silence until everyone else arrives, you could bring up the humorous fact that the both of you were “those ones in the office” that always showed up early to meetings.

Asking questions that deviate from professional talk is a good way to uncover their hobbies or interests in a subtle way. What did they do this weekend? What are they planning to do for the upcoming weekend? If there’s a popular event in town you could ask if they were planning to go or if there was a common non-work discussion around the office you could bring it up.

These small efforts will help you build a foundation for interacting in small ways more regularly with your colleagues. That means you won’t feel as left out. Even if it’s a passing smile or wave when departing for the day, small gestures are more impactful than you think. Before long, you won’t feel like the odd one out at all. You have connections and they’re at your comfort level because you made them.




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Hana Othman

Hana Othman is the founder of SimpleHermit.com and identifies as an INFJ. Most days you can find her typing away or reading a book. Beyond that, she keeps busy as a dog and cat mom.