Do Introverts Make Good Romantic Partners?

There are so many different sets of criteria that we expect from a potential romantic partner in this day and age. We might want them to have a specific job, look a certain way, share the same diet, speak a different language – the list goes on forever!

We also might envision our partner being more outgoing or reserved. The idea of being one or the other is popular, but not quite realistic, as most people aren’t completely one way all the time; even if they consider themselves that way. We’re conditioned to make definitive choices that are assumed as permanent or unchanging. However, that’s not human nature. People change all the time and they tend to react and change when they’re faced with different external influences.

Introverts are commonly described as being very reserved individuals, but that’s a very simplistic way to think of them. Introverts can come off as reserved and shy, but they can also be very outspoken and sociable, it just depends on the person and the situation that they’re in – along with hundreds of other factors like their mood, age, comfort level, etc.

When it comes to thinking of introverts as romantic partners, one could assume that they’re getting all the textbook attributes of the introverted personality type, only to be surprised when the person isn’t. If you’re wondering what dating introverts is really like, take a look below at some of the most common and realistic behaviors.

They Pay Attention to The Little Things

When dating an introvert, you have to consider that rather than the dominant characteristic being shy or reserved, it’s more like the person’s time is spent focusing inwards, toward their own feelings and thoughts about things – rather than what’s happening externally or with other people.

In that way, when they’re in a relationship, as masters of thinking about the little things – they remember things you might not expect them to as their partner. Major events like birthdays and anniversaries are a given, but what about that one time you said you hate tomatoes on your salad or named your favorite movie? The little things about you are just as important as the big ones.

Naturally, an introvert would probably be thrilled if you returned the favor by remembering the little things about them. Small gestures that relate to those little things are also especially meaningful and are an opportunity to pleasantly surprise them. If you know their coffee order by heart for instance, or notice if they had a haircut but it’s not obviously noticeable. With an introvert, pointing things out or naturally doing things that require paying close attention as their partner won’t be taken for granted.

They Give You Space and Time

Introverts are famous for loving their alone time, so it makes complete sense for them to empathize when you need yours. If you communicate clearly, they shouldn’t feel insecure or worried if you aren’t hanging out all the time as a couple.

Actually, introverts likely need their space while in a relationship and are likely to ask for it in order to have a balanced one. It wouldn’t be unusual for them to ask their partner’s opinion on it or naturally to go off and do their own thing for a few hours a week.

If you’re cohabitating with an introverted partner, you can expect that they’ll set aside a “spot” for themselves that they can retreat to when they want some solitude. Even if it’s only for a few minutes and in a shared space, being alone or in a quiet environment where they can mentally recharge is probably very valuable to them.

Having an introverted partner can be a good thing because of this characteristic. When the honeymoon phase wears off a bit, they’ll settle into a good routine where they’ll be attentive enough to notice if you’re not spending important time as a couple, but also happy to give space as needed.

Related: What It’s Like Dating An Extrovert As An Introvert

They Accept You For Who You Are

Introverts face a lot of preconceived notions about who they are, probably unfairly so. They also tend to be emotionally mature people. They face their own feelings on the daily, so they won’t be shying away from any deep discussions and all the feely stuff, they’ll try to accept you for who you are because they know they’d want the same.

As intuitive beings that are compassionate, introverts respect feelings more than anything else. The things that might be hard to explain that you’re experiencing – they don’t need physical proof, they can imagine why you need certain things to feel happy.

If you have a disagreement and you tried to resolve something about yourself that was bothering them but honestly couldn’t, an introverted partner could accept it or be more willing to compromise because they respect who you are as a person above all else.

They Make You Feel Special

When an introvert lets you into their life it’s a special moment all on its own. Introverts may have a rep for avoiding social situations and thought to purposefully not have many friends, the reality is that they are selective for a good reason. Introverts may have a small social circle or a very large one; it depends on how many people they’ve genuinely connected with.

Introverts are hardly unsociable, they just tend to want something more from the relationships they have. Rather than having a lot of acquaintances that they probably don’t have much in common with, an introvert is more likely to have a strong bond with each person they know. They instinctively crave meaningful associations that they treasure for a significant amount of time. Of course, the fact that you have an introvert as a partner means that you fit that bill.

Simply being with an introvert can make you feel special because they wouldn’t be with you if they didn’t consider you that way. You’re a person that they’re willing to open up to and connect with on a deeper level and not everyone gets that privilege.





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Hana Othman

Hana Othman is the founder of SimpleHermit.com and identifies as an INFJ. Most days you can find her typing away or reading a book. Beyond that, she keeps busy as a dog and cat mom.